Horoscopes • February 2024
A loose interpretation of the celestial skies, with particular reference to the February.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 19) Happy Birthday!
Love is in the air! This is largely due to the influence of perennial troublemaker Venus. Whether you’re tempted to dote on your other half, or busy looking for a new winsome beau, don’t neglect your self-control. Enjoy flirting and playing the coquette, but do try to keep at least one foot in reality. Scatter rose petals to maximise the amorous vibes of your cosy love nest.
Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20)
Staying in with a classic novel or teaching yourself how to play piano (or bongos if you’re more of a ‘kipper of the beat’ - groan) is the wisest path for many of you fish folk this month. In fact, the universe is so keen on this course of action that you’ll find yourself tripping over your own tongue if you even think about partying.
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
It’s very important to watch your health around the middle of the month, and easier to do so if you remain as aloof as possible. Aloofness does not come easily to rams but it’s nice to try new things now and then. Pick a partner to be aloof with in order to maximise the boost to your empathy and don’t skimp on the nibbles.
Taurus (Apr 21 - May 20)
A very busy time for many bulls; which suits workaholic bulls just fine. An idle bull is no fun to be around, so be sure to make plans for your evenings during this industrious period; whether it be a trip to the cinema, an evening down the pub or Saké and Sushi at yours. Kampai!
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
It’s a leap year so get ready to make the most of the extra day. The 29th lands on the Thursday before St. David’s day, so if you ‘come out’ as Welsh earlier in the week your boss won’t be too miffed if you cry off work on the Friday, due to a self-induced migraine, cricked neck, or whatever plausible illness you usually cite when pulling a sickie. Avoid beans!
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
Your self-confidence receives a nice boost this month, but avoid being bolder than you need to be however much your pals may egg you on. Wear more yellow and don’t be afraid to experiment with a new hairstyle. Treat yourself to some new scatter cushions and live life to the full.
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Cats are not fond of February. It’s a strange month; always over too soon and weatherwise it’s neither hither nor thither, as they say. Head for the shed with your big book of plans and your best pencils if you have a head full of ideas. And if your inspiration is less than 100 per cent, you can always pat a ball of wool around.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Don’t waste time looking for shortcuts when what you really need is a better road. If life was a journey, shortcuts would make sense, but reaching the finish line first is not the main priority. Appreciate the simple things. Chat to wildlife and master dawdling. It’s a good life.
Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
When people set you tasks that you know are beyond your abilities, for any number of reasons, it’s important to register your lack of enthusiasm. It’s then wise to make a good fist of things, even if it be just for appearance’s sake. And if you feel stressed always resort to white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake before therapy.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22)
If never seems to rain for Scorpios! Everyone else is looking at a frenetic month (geminis, in particular, are set to have a terrible Feb - but I’d appreciate it if you’d keep that to yourself: I’ve basically lied to them and suggested they pretend to be Welsh!) I digress... Success at work, promotion, sound finances, all the usual. It certainly doesn’t suck to be you.
Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
It is said that only god forgives, but with atheism being more popular than ever and a lot of people giving up on the cranky old curmudgeon, it will be down to you to find space in your heart to pardon those friends and family who just can’t help themselves. Be magnanimous, but firm.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
You’re on Gandalf-level form this month. Many will beat a path to your door seeking your advice and sage words, but there’s no need to panic: your empathy, erudition and eloquence will do the trick. Stock up on snacks but don’t rely too heavily on nuts. Some people are allergic.