Horoscopes • May 2021
A loose interpretation of the celestial skies, with particular reference ton May.
Taurus (Apr 21 - May 20)
Happy Birthday! You’re in the driving seat this month, so if you come up with a clever new idea that your pals universally dismiss as a dud, pay them no heed and truck on like a big buzzing bull. They’ll soon be feeling like one of those book publishers who turned the Harry Potter series down, or that idiot at Decca Records who told John, Paul, George and Ringo that four-piece rock-n-roll bands were on the way out.
Gemini (May 21- June 20)
Mercury, your ruling planet, is the closest planet to the sun. This may explain why you have so much fizzing
energy and are constantly on the go, seeking out new challenges with a disturbing amount of determination. It doesn’t explain your tendency to walk into walls from time to time though. Maybe that’s the universe telling you to slow down?
Cancer (June 21 - Jul 22)
If you’ve had a ding-dong with a loved one (maybe some time ago), now is the perfect time to get around to resolving it. Ding-dongs with loved ones tend to go unresolved for reasons of tact and diplomacy. Some things can be safely buried, but not ding-dongs.
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Watch your spending this month. However tempting it is to treat yourself, you know that impulse purchases seldom pan out in the long term. The question, ‘what the flip did I buy that for?’ is one you’ve asked yourself before. Put your credit card away or you’ll be snappier than a smoker who misplaced his baccy-tin.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Big projects just won’t fly this month. But try not to become unnecessarily sullen and irascible. Put your favourite John Denver album on your earbuds/walkman/ radiogram and get on with creosoting your fence or repairing the holes in the roof of your leaking garden shed.
Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Getting the balance right in your life can be like attempting to assemble flatpack furniture. If you concentrate on your love life too much your career can fall apart. And if you focus too obsessively on your hobbies your family life can become unhinged. This is clearly a job for two people (and an Allen Key!).
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22)
Now that NASA are all over your ruling planet (Mars), peering under rocks in search of signs of life, it may be a good time to do some searching of your own, in the dark and mysterious catacombs of your soul. Why should wigged out hippies and new age, vegan types have all the fun? Get a mandala and some Nag Champa.
Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
Your reputation as an all-round good egg, wisest owl in the roost and bastion of chilled loveliness is not about to be tarnished by the odd freak-out. If life was meant to be a smooth ride all the time we wouldn’t have those wonderful inventions: shouting and swearing. So don’t bother counting to ten - just let it rip!
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
People (I know, who needs them?) will try to run rings around you this month. This may be because you’re generally very accommodating when it comes to this kind of thing, or it may be because your ruling planet is Saturn. It’s probably the first one but you never know. Anyway, stick your foot out from time to time to make it less fun for them.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 19)
There’s suddenly so much to be done since you’ve been lazing around, reading sci-fi and learning Japanese, for the best part of a year now. But you don’t have to do it alone. And even if you would rather do it alone, you don’t have to rush. Slowly slowly is the way. Ask any monkey.
Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20)
Creativity is the key to inner peace, so dig out your old Strat and learn some new licks! And if you don’t like headphones maybe move to the country and convert an old cow shed into a studio where you can make as much noise as you like?
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
If you accuse an Aries of being confrontational they will argue the point. They will not see the irony of this behaviour and pointing it out to them will earn you a one-way ticket to the naughty step. Aries is the ‘parent’ zodiac sign. Be honest, have you ever met one who didn’t remind of your dad at his most unreasonable?