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at the speed of life




Sure, I’m impatient. Nothing grinds my gears like a slow internet connection and I simply cannot wait for a pizza to cool down before taking a bite. Yep, I’d rather scorch my taste buds with molten cheese than wait five minutes for the bubbling to stop and yet even I am finding myself somewhat intrigued at the modern need for instant gratification.  

In this age of Amazon Prime we have simply lost our ability to wait for anything. First up there’s Christmas, I mean I’m a jolly person but I cannot take pleasure in seeing the face of Santa Claus peering down from a shop shelf in September. Call me a scrooge but a mince pie shall not pass these lips until the First of December and who the heck is buying chocolate reindeers before bonfire night? Can we leave a gap of opportunity to fully appreciate the delights of Parkin and toffee apples please?

 Christmas dinner has barely been digested before the Easter bunny starts hopping up in the supermarkets. Remember when you had to wait for what seemed like ages to buy a Cadbury’s crème egg? Not now, you can grab one on Boxing Day.

In our connected world impatience is seeping into the daily detail of our lives, we want to be productive and cram in as much as possible. With a simple swipe and tap of a smartphone we can purchase whatever our heart desires before we’ve even got out of bed, delivered next day or even same day if you’re willing to pay - after all time is money - but don’t bother saving up, just bang it on your store credit and worry about it later. Instead of waiting for a programme to come on television in a weekly time slot, we now stream them in their entirety within seconds, then sit binging until our eyeballs itch (I’m most guilty of that one).

"My daughter was baffled when I explained how I’d have to sit for ages with my finger on a button to rewind a film on VHS and she couldn’t fathom going to the shops for a CD when you could just ask Alexa."  

Fancy a date? Don’t wait for a prospective love interest to walk past and work to establish a rapport, instead you can swipe right and hook up that evening with someone you have been calculated by a computer algorithm to have chemistry with. Romantic huh? Hungry? Grab a ready meal. In a rush? Grab an Uber. No time to read? Download an audio book. 

It seems with the world at our fingertips we have an increasing expectation of instant results, why have patience when you can have it now? I’m as guilty of this as the next millennial but doesn’t all of this rushing seem to make the world spin faster? In the fear of losing time are we losing quality time? I like living life in the fast lane but I’m ready to pump the brakes. A spot of slowing down to smell the roses before I’m six foot under them. 

"If you have any embarrassing stories you want

to share, I'd be delighted if you'd send them to

me at chloe@excellemagazine.co.uk.

After all laughter is the best medicine and I

promise we'll be chuckling with you - not at you!"